Grief & Joy, Side by Side There’s this strange thing that happens when your heart holds both everything and nothing all at once. My baby girl has filled my world with so much light. I look at her tiny hands, the way her eyes follow my voice, the way her laugh bubbles out of nowhere—and…
For one small second, the world stopped spinning. At least, it felt like it did. It paused, just long enough for me to feel the weight of what I lost. And then, just like that, it kept turning. Like nothing happened. It’s the weirdest feeling. To lose your person. Your love. And then scroll through…
I Am Not Ready You’re never actually ready. No matter how much preparing you do, no matter how many conversations you have, no matter how many steps you take toward acceptance, when it comes down to it, you’re never ready. Today was hard. It was supposed to be a beautiful day, our third and final…
I never thought I’d be sitting at the table with my husband in my late 20s shopping for a funeral package. I never thought we’d be deciding where he’ll be buried, what songs will play, or what kind of bench we want designed for our baby girl to sit on when she wants to feel…
How Tanner and I do it differently When Tanner was diagnosed with cancer at 25, everything we thought our life would be was ripped away in an instant. We had just celebrated our second wedding anniversary. We wereyoung, in love, and dreaming about the life we would build together. And then suddenly, we were in…
Tanner left on a little cancer retreat with “Reel Recovery.” He was so excited to spend time with other cancer fighters, fishing out in the beautiful Utah summer. And I was so excited for him! It had been only a day or so of him gone, and he didn’t have great phone service so we…